How to Build an Empire

How to Build an Empire: The Three Pillars

Will it benefit the empire?

That's the question Mish and I ask ourselves before taking on any project, gig, or collaboration. It's become the filter through which every opportunity passes. Because here's the thing about building a musical empire: you can't do it by saying yes to everything, and you definitely can't do it alone.

Pillar One: Collaboration

Early in my career I said yes to every opportunity. These days I'm far more selective, asking: Is this person right? Do they have the same hunger? Are they mentally stable?

But here's what I've learned: you cannot build an empire alone. It's a myth. Even solo artists have teams behind them. The trick is finding the right people—the ones who fill in your missing pieces.

The collaboration pillar isn't just about writing songs together. It's about building a network of genuine relationships. It's learning when to say no, when to let people go, and recognising when someone's draining your energy versus adding to your work.

Letting go of band members has been excruciatingly difficult every time and I can't say I've always handled it well. But every time you do it, you make space for the right people. And eventually, you're surrounded only by those who are meant to be there.

Key lessons:

• Find people whose strengths cover your weaknesses

• Learn to recognise exploitation versus true collaboration

• It's okay if something doesn't work out—both successes and failures teach you

• Skill swapping when you've got no money is a game-changer

• Use collaboration as a tool to find long-term relationships, not just one-off projects

Pillar Two: Confidence

This one's personal for me. I've really struggled with self-confidence. I used to look at other people's best bits and compare them to my worst bits. Confidence, for me, has come through gratitude. Not toxic positivity—I'm not talking about forcing yourself to feel amazing. I'm talking about looking at what you have, not what you don't have. Being grateful for your skills, your sound, your journey.

Confidence is built through repetition. Writing songs. Performing. Rehearsing. Showing up when engagement is terrible and nobody seems to care. When you post something and get an embarrassingly small response. That's where true confidence lives—in the quiet knowledge that you've done the work, regardless of the outcome.

Here's something worth remembering: social media is not your only stage. It's one tiny stage in a world full of them. Most people who love your music aren't commenting on your posts. They're the ones who come up to you after a gig saying, "I listen to your CD every day on my way to work."

I'm 37 now. We had a photoshoot recently, and one of the single covers is a close-up of my leg in a stocking. My immediate thought was: Is this sexy anymore? When you've built any part of your career on self-expression that includes sexuality, getting older can feel terrifying. You start wondering when you'll become irrelevant.

But here's what I'm learning: there's a profound difference between expressing sexuality for the male gaze and expressing it for yourself. If your career is built on how you look to other people, then yes, that has a shelf life. But if you're expressing your sexuality because you want to—because it's authentic self-expression, because it makes you feel powerful—then it's sexy at any age.

The work for me now is feeling free to express my sexuality on my own terms, regardless of age. Not performing for anyone's approval. Not second-guessing whether I'm "still allowed" to be sensual or bold or provocative. Just being myself, fully, at every age.

PJ Harvey is the perfect example. She's never been sexy for the male gaze. She's just got it. She's genuinely herself, and that's the sexiest thing. You look at her and think, "Fucking hell, what a legend." That's the kind of confidence that lasts.

Key lessons:

• Comparison is the thief of joy—block your exes, clean up your feed

• Confidence comes from within, not from likes and comments

• Express yourself for YOU, not for anyone else's approval or gaze

• Measure success in years, not engagement metrics

• Keep multiple mirrors—friends, reviews, gigs, not just social media

Pillar Three: Longevity

The secret to building an empire? Just keep going.

Not giving up when an album is difficult. Not stopping when you have a breakdown. Not quitting when there's no money. Just carrying on. Getting to the next single, the next song. Even if you're not releasing, you're still writing. Still moving forward.

As a woman in alternative music, hitting your thirties can feel terrifying. The narrative we're taught is that we become irrelevant as we age. But here's what I've discovered: if you're an alternative artist, you can do this at any age. Our music gets better. Our campaigns get stronger. We level up each year.

It's about pace, not speed. Think of it like training as an athlete—don't skip your warmups (practice), do your physio (self-care), eat well (literally and metaphorically). Build a system that doesn't require you to be "on" all the time.

The financial reality is messy. Side hustles, day jobs, life pulling you in different directions. Sometimes it's 70% life admin and 30% music. Sometimes it flips. It's a pendulum, not a balance. And that's okay. The empire will be there when you come back.

Key lessons:

• It's a marathon, not a sprint

• Overnight success is often dangerous—foundation matters

• Having other interests protects your mental health

• Work-life balance doesn't exist in this industry—it's a pendulum

• After 3-5 years, someone's always listening to your music, somewhere, 24/7

The End Goal

I don't know if there really is one. Maybe it's us sitting on a porch by the sea with passive income rolling in. Maybe it's putting out music that's so bad it's a joke, just to see what happens. Maybe it's simply reaching the point where the hustle has turned into joy.

My definition of empire has changed completely since I started. When I was younger, I felt like my cutting edge was just being young and pretty. I dreaded getting older. I didn't imagine a future past 30.

But now? I feel powerful. I'm not doing this for men or anyone else anymore. My self-talk has changed from princess to queen. I'm the queen of my empire now, and that shift in perspective changes everything.

So ask yourself: Will it benefit the empire?

If the answer is yes, do it. If not, let it go. Make space for what matters. Keep going. Do the work. Trust the process.

The empire isn't built in a day. It's built in the bits between the breakdowns.

Empires aren't built by those who burn brightest—they're built by those who refuse to burn out.

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