10 Things That Are the Bane of My Life as a Musician

1. Those screws inside mic clips

Seriously, who invented these? And why? Inevitably I've either left it on a mic stand at home when I need it or I can't get the damn thing off some other mic stand when my clip has one intact.

2. People going, "oooh, we'll look out for you on the telly one day"

Ummmm... how about you get off your ass, support independent music and stop waiting for the mainstream media to spoonfeed you some trickled-down basic-bitch entertainment, you ignorant pleb

3. Every time I play a gig, it's like packing to go on holiday

As someone who can't even organise myself to make a packed lunch, this is a pretty gruesome part of being a musician

4. Sound guys who can't do their job

Usually if anyone's getting paid, it's the sound guy, but the number of people I come across who don't know their craft is mind-boggling

5. That friend who's always gutted they can't make your gig but will definitely show at the next one

Yeah, cheers mate

6. Hand luggage restrictions

You'd think that due to the number of musicians who have to travel as part of their job, there would be better solutions for instruments on planes

7. Having to actually explain to people why I haven't auditioned for X-Factor/The Voice/Britain's Got Talent

This happens far more than it should and witnessing so many people who think that this kind of soap opera is a realistic representation of the music industry drives me to despair

8. Seeing beautiful instruments that aren't getting played

Instruments need love too. Violins actually appreciate in value if they're played well and it's just sad when instruments are neglected.

9. Pubs that don't turn their sports channel off while the band is playing

Why did you even bother to hire us?!

10. Young bands who think that four years of guitar lessons, two gigs and a shit demo is going to make them world famous tomorrow

If that's not bad enough, try being a musician in a city that's over-saturated with kids with a shit sound, bad attitude and no musical talent. They all drop off in their mid-twenties but unfortunately more take their place...